High roller

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As part of the xmas festivities this weekend, Ryan's family and I went down to Atlantic City Friday night to try out luck. We went to "Harrah's":http://www.harrahs.com/, which wasn't all that impressive. We got dinner in the casino, and the food was pretty bad. Then time to hit the gaming floor. "Ryan's dad":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20031225_xmas/P1010010.jpg said that you could always tell the quality of a casino by how attractive the cocktail waitresses were, and these were pretty bad. One woman had a picture of her mommy baby on her tray's tip cup; very tacky! That combined with her sullen-bordering-on-hostile attitude meant no getting drinks from her! Ryan and I weren't really into the idea of gambling; we were just going to look for a bar and drink and people-watch. Found a bar, but it was loud, as there was a Beatles cover band playing, complete with Sgt. Pepper-era outfits, and even a left-handed bass player lead singer. They even talked with a British accent in between songs. Entertaining, but still too loud.

Came back to the floor, and found "Ryan's mom":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20031225_xmas/P1010002.jpg, who gave us each $20 to play slots next to her, with the understanding that if we hit, we'd have to give her half. Ha, ha.. very funny.. no problem. Plugged my $20 into a quarter slot machine, and starting playing 3 credits at a time. Up a little, down a little, up a little more, and then down to about my last $10. Then I get 7-DoubleThingy-7. $200. I couldn't even believe it. Cashed out right away (didn't get the cool sound of 800-plus quarters dropping into the bin... instead you get a paper chit printed out that you bring to the cashiers window), gave Ryan's mom her $100, and then more or less called it a night. I did put $10 into a dollar slot machine, and hit $15 on my first pull, but then whittled away the $25 in about 2 minutes.

The other thing I really noticed was how smokey it was in there. There was a "non-smoking" slots section, but it was very small. I wonder if they will ever have fully non-smoking casinos? Gambling and smoking seem to be strongly linked, but I would have said the same thing about Dunkin Donuts 10 years ago.

Holiday Fun

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The holiday is in full swing here at work. "Pat":http://gregcioffi.com/hammerheads/images/galleries/images/otg2_5.jpg showed up this morning with a bunch of Santa hats, "donuts('Donuts! I got donuts! I got- hey, I know you!')":ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad/sounds/season7/films17.mp3, and various other fun things. So, pictures were taken and posted, which prompted me to tell you about some new photo galleries I've put up. "3 Foolish Men":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20031224_3wisemen The boys at the office, decked out in holiday gear and a buffalo stance.

"Gym Photos":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20031216_theclimbingwall Just a couple of pics of the new gym bouldering area. A game of grab-ass is played, and problems are sent.

"Apartment pics":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20031210_apartment After taking forever, I finally took some shots of my neat-o apartment, so you can see the kingdom over which my cats are lords and masters.

"The Parent Trip":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20010707_parents From about two years ago, when my folks came out for a visit. Decorations were done, and a wonderful time was had by all.

Oh, and speaking of pictures, the photo of "lil' Seb":http://www.ankle-biter.net/anklebiter/ "under the xmas tree":http://www.ankle-biter.net/withxmastree.jpg is probably the cutest damn thing I've ever seen.

The tipping point

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Well, that did it. With "k's comment":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000755/#comments about my ultra-white bread spelling of "freakin", I reached 393 posts (not counting this one) and 394 comments. Considering I started this weblog "back in June of last year(Our long national nightmare is just beginning)":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000172/, it feels like somewhat of an accomplishment that enough of my 5 friends feel compelled to comment on the drivel I write on a semi-regular basis. So, thanks!

Dance Dance Revolution

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No, this post is not about "DDR(Dance Dance Revolution)":http://www.ddrfreak.com/, but instead about how I helped the SLF(Special Lady Friend) chaperone a dance at the school she teaches at on Friday. The school is a "faith-based charter school", which has students primarily from Garfield, Wilkinsburg, and the Hill District. In English, that means that there's about 30-odd inner-city kids whose parents didn't want to send them to their neighborhood's public school, since they are probably in a deplorable state. I learned some interesting things on Friday:

* I am really, REALLY white. * The fashion rage these days is velour track suits. Al Sharpton would be proud. According to my co-workers, this is not news at all, as white girls at the mall are thusly clad, but I tend to be ignorant of those sorts of things. * I am very behind on current slang. One example was "swole", which means annoyed or something. e.g. "I'm all swole at him." Another was in a complaint one of the girls made, "There are too many chaperones around, and we can't do the coochie pop!" Being a good nerd I immediately ran to a computer in the school to try and look up the dance called "the coochie pop". "UrbanDictionary":http://www.urbandictionary.com/ let me down tho... all I could find were "references to the female anatomy":http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=coochie-pop. Turns out that one of the TAs was able to clue me in (she's young and black, natch). Apparently it involves a girl doing a handstand, and the guy stands behind her holding her legs. At least I knew what "freakin":http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/northcounty/20020512-9999_1mi12dance.html (dropped the "g" in freaking... thank you, k) was, and believe me there was plenty of that. * It is a small school, and maybe my random sample was skewed by lack of data, but I would have to say that 80% of the girls were overweight; ranging from what you might call "thick" to downright fat. As most of the kids parents are lower-income, maybe this means that they eat more junk food, fast food, and the like. In any case, buy stock in insulin-providing compaines now, and retire rich.

ROTK

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Went and saw "ROTK(Return of the King)":http://www.lordoftherings.net/film/trilogy/ last night. The movie was wonderful, of course, as all the "critics(ROTK reviews on RottenTomatoes)":http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/TheLordoftheRingsTheReturnoftheKing-1127213/ and "fans(ROTK thread on ShackNews)":http://www.shacknews.com/ja.zz?comments=29734 are saying. Saw three interesting things before the movie, however: * Went to "Panera":http://www.panerabread.com/ for soup and a sandwich before the movie. After I order my sandwich, the girl tells me they're out of rosemary & onion focaccia. No problem, I'll just take asiago cheese bread. Nope, sorry... don't have that either. Alright fine.. just the plain focaccia then. A blank look and a shrug from the girl. At this point I nearly leaned over the counter to start shaking her, "Well, what do you have then?" Sheesh... I know that working there isn't a career or anything, but grow a brain, huh?

* Also at Panera just as I was leaving a guy walked in with a group of his friends. He seemed a trifle confused, because he was wearing a "trucker hat(Making your own trucker hat @ Gawker)":http://www.gawker.com/archives/007250.php, but had it turned "sort of askew":http://www.mrquick.net/blogger/2003_03_23_blogarchive.htm#91268225, the way dumb white boys that "want to be badass(UrbanDictionary definition of 'whigger')":http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whigger will wear a baseball hat.

* While on line to get into the theatre, I had a bet going with the SLF that we would see between 0 and 10 people wearing some sort of LOTR outfit (she said between 10 and 20), be it a "whole outfit thing":http://www.all-movie-toys.com/item/LOTRRUARDASET, or just a trinket like "the Arwen jewel":http://www.all-movie-toys.com/item/LOTRNBPENDAW. Only actually saw one girl wearing "a leaf brooch":http://www.all-movie-toys.com/item/LOTRNBEB, but also saw a guy wearing a straightjacket. That's the way to meet girls, for sure. "Hey, ladies... I'm dependable and reliable... well-rounded and I call my mom every week." Um, no.

A cause for no celebration

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NFL fines Horn $30,000 Between displays like this and the skipping routine of Warren Sapp, professional football has become a bunch of 12 year olds, competing to see who can make a bigger ass of themselves, even after a meaningless score, as in the case of the Falcon's Duckett, who had the gall to celebrate after a score that brought them close enough to the Colts that 4 more touchdowns and a field goal would have had them tied.

I'm sure being a professional athelete is great; to be adored by thousands of people who will delight in your antics, support you even after abusing drugs, raping women, or even killing your pregnant girlfriend. But the celebration is obscene. You're getting these multi-million dollar salaries to _do your job_! I'm sure it would be more exciting for people if after every time I wrote a particularly neat piece of code, I would start dancing around the room, slapping my ass and making throat-slashing gestures at my fellow programmers.

When you score a touchdown, hand the ball to the referee. That's it. Anything else, and you're suspended. Forget fines, because players pulling down the salaries that these guys are probably have $30K in loose change in their couch. But when you're suspended, you're hurting your team, and then maybe the childish behavior will stop.

EMC buys VMWare

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("Press release":http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20031215/ap_on_hi_te/emc_vmware_1) I don't get this move... EMC does storage services, and "VMWare":http://www.vmware.com/ makes software that lets you run Windows on a Linux machine, or Linux on a Windows machine, in a window. My guess is that they're trying to become the next "Computer Associates":http://ca.com/; branching out into a larger vendor of both hardware and software. I fail to see the synergy, however.

Feralboy bought by Microsoft with $1B package

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_"That's one heckuva package," says site founder Matt Comroe_ h3. For Immediate Release

*Pittsburgh, PA -- December 11, 2003* -- "Feralboy.com":http://feralboy.com, announced today that it has been acquired in a takeover bid from Microsoft valued at nearly a billion dollars in old newspapers and pets.com stock.

Feralboy.com founder, CEO, CTO, CFO, EVP, and all-around swell guy Matt Comroe expressed great satisfaction with the terms of the buyout when reached in his local office's restroom.

"Oh, no... you guys again? Every time I just want to just blast out a dook, you are in here asking me inane questions about things that haven't happened. Don't you have a life? Don't you have family or a girlfriend or something? "Why me? Why me?('Taxi Driver' on IMDB)":http://imdb.com/title/tt0075314/".

William H. Gates III, founder and chairman of Microsoft corporation, was equally enthusiastic. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Sure, he uses some Microsoft technologies on his site... everyone does. That's the whole point." At this point Mr. Gates trailed off into a series of Gollum-like cackles and mutterings.

Other large web presences have tried in the past to acquire Feralboy.com, including various animal pornography sites, a tea cozy reseller, and Sun Microsystems.

There was no indication at press time as to what changes the Microsoft acquisition was going to bring to Feralboy.com. There probably won't be any more articles about the Linux operating system, since it's such a piece of garbage.

###

More job-hunting tips.

in

Part 3 in our "continuing":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000352/ "series":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000314/ on "How to Not Get A Job", I got this gem of a cover letter from "Ryan":http://trulycrap.com/ this morning: == DEAR SIR/MADDAM

THE PURPOSE OF THIS LETTER IS TO INFORM YOU ABOUT ME. AND HOW I FEEL I AM THE BEST PERSON FOR THE JOB.

I FEEL I AM THE BEST CANDIDATE.BECAUSE, I AM PROFICENT IN THE FOLLOWING, INBOUND, OUTBOUND CALLCENTER, SALES ASSOCIATE, RETAIL, CUSTOMER SERVICE, INVENTORY, FILING, WAITRESSING, HANDELING FOOD ORDERS, STORE GREETING, TWO YEARS OF COLLECTION EXPERIENCE, EXCELLENT COMMUNICATION SKILLS, TELEPHONE SWITCH BOARD OPERATOR, PICKING, PACKING, SURVEYS, AND ALSO CASHIER WORK.

I HAVE BEEN DOING CUSTOMER SERVICE FOR OVER FIVE YEARS. THE CUSTOMERS LOOK FORWARD TO WHEN I AM THERE BECAUSE OF MY WARM SMILE. AND MY FRIENDLY ATTITUDE.

MY EMPLOYERS LOVE MY WORK ALSO. I HAVE NEVER BEEN COACHED FOR LATENESS, ABSENTNESS, STEALING ETC.

I WILL EXPLAIN WHY I WANT TO WORK FOR YOUR COMPANY WHEN WE MEET. AND I'LL DEMONSTATE TO YOU HOW YOU CAN PUT MY SUCESSFUL EXPERIENCE TO WORK FOR FUTURE GROWTH.

SO IN CLOSING OF THIS LETTER.I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO DISCUSSING THE POSITION WITH YOU. I CAN BE REACHED DURING THE DAY AT (215)XXX-XXXX

SINCERLY YOURS ==

Phase Two

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My cats have begun the second step in their multipart plan to make me spend more time with them. "Phase One":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000715/ was waking me up at ungodly hours so I'd be forced to pay attention to them. Phase Two apparently involves _resetting the time_ on my alarm clock, thereby forcing me to get fired so I'll be home a lot more. They must really miss my telecommuting days.

Drew's Holiday Bash

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"Drew":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20031206_drews/P1010007.jpg had a rockin' party on Saturday night. "I took pictures":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20031206_drews. "Dave took pictures":http://bigbrit.blogspot.com/photos/photos.html. "Hilarity":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20031206_drews/P1010017.jpg (and "nudity":http://bigbrit.blogspot.com/photos/photos-Pages/Image39.html) "ensued":http://bigbrit.blogspot.com/photos/photos-Pages/Image26.html.

Blogshares not dead?

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Looks like "Seyed":http://www.monkeyx.com/ has "found a buyer":http://www.monkeyx.com/archives/web/for_sale_blogshares_one_careful_owner.html for the domain and source code. I'm sure the next iteration will suck, as Seyed really was the heart and soul of the site. It'll still be interesting to see what happens, tho. *Update:* Looks like Jay Campbell "bought it":http://blogshares.got.net/. Hey, good for him. My prediction still is in the "suck" camp.

"Everything that has a beginning, has an end."

in

This applies to "crappy Matrix movies":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000624/ as well as other things. Dave makes sparks flyRight around the time that the "local gym":http://theclimbingwall.com/ was completing their "new bouldering area":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20031116_abs_comp, we got a letter from the building owner where we were sub-sub-sub-leasing our space. There was a new tenant coming in; they wanted the whole floor, and we had to vacate. Luckily, we were able to sell all our "holds":http://pusher.com/ to the gym, and just in time for a big "climbing competition":http://rockcomps.com/rockcomps/comps/event_details.cfm?id=513. It worked out perfectly for me, because with the new area open, there was much less reason to go to the co-op, but I certainly didn't want to back out, because I still went in to "campus":http://www.franklinclimbing.com/2002/get_stronger.html on occasion, and also didn't want to leave the remaining folks with a larger share of the rent.

So, last night was the first big night of trying to tear down the wall, which was "highly over-engineered":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20021027_shop when we first put it in. All the nasty cummy mattresses were moved before I even got there, but we managed to get all but one piece of the plywood off, as it had like 4 stripped screws in it, and then called it a night.

The joys of pet ownership

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The culpritI have very cute cats. No, really... everyone says they have cute cats but mine are affectionate, playful, sleek. Except for my one; Manson. He's developed this Extra Special Annoying habit over the last few months, which is to get my attention while I'm sleeping thusly: # Yowl at medium volume. # Rattle the doorknob of my walk-in closet which is 5 feet from my head. # Repeat ad nauseum.

I'm not quite sure how he figured it out, but if his aim is to get my attention, it's quite effective. Various responses on my part include:

* Rolling over and groaning. * Rolling over and yelling, which stops him for _just_ long enough for me to almost get back to sleep before he starts again. * Throwing the other pillow in his general direction. * Getting really desparate and going downstairs to find the damn spray bottle which I then douse him with. In my half-groggy state I usually spray the wrong cat anyway, as they all tend to gather around to watch the other one get a whuppin'. * (Most effective) Hanging my "messenger bag":http://timbuk2.com/ so that the padded strap is across the knob, and then leaning my guitar case across the knob/strap combo to thwart his rattling efforts.

He who hesitates....

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Damn, damn, damn. I was busy enough at work yesterday that I put off calling the local theatre to get VIP seating for the "ROTK(Return Of The King)":http://www.lordoftherings.net/film/trilogy/ in a few weeks. I call today, and they're all sold out. I check on "Fandango":http://fandango.com/, and the general admission seats for the after-5 show are sold out too, and they were available yesterday!

I sux0r.

*Update*: I now officially sux0r less, because they had a movie time that wasn't "released" to Fandango or some such jive, but was on there today, so I've got my ticket for the 9 p.m. showing at the Waterfront. W00t!

Fire!

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Very nice Thanksgiving this past weekend. Went to Philly on Wednesday right after work, met up with Ryan and did some drinkin', then made my way to my Dad's for dinner Thursday afternoon. Dinner was good, and uneventful right up until I was about to leave to head to my sister's to sleep over, as there was no more room at my Dad's. Anyway, his next-door neighbor comes charging in barefoot screaming about a fire in her kitchen. My dad grabbed a fire extinguisher, and I followed after him. As we're heading across the driveway, the neighbor was saying "You're not going to find him! I know you're going to look for him but you won't find him!" Of course, I had visions of either an undocumented worker chained in the attic to help up with chores, or maybe it was her invisible elephant, Sparky (my dad's neighbor is always a bit, shall we say, unhinged) Fire!Anyway, I fully expected to find a kitchen roaring in flames, or maybe when we opened the door it would come roaring out, _ala_ "Backdraft(Backdraft on IMDB)":http://imdb.com/title/tt0101393/. Instead we found the neighbor's son, shirtless, tugging at the door of the oven, with lots of smoke coming out. Apparently the door had stuck, either from the violent tugging or it had just locked or something. Anyway, I suggested we pull the stove out from the wall and unplug it, so that whatever was smoking wouldn't get any more heat (I never did find out what exactly was in the oven). A few minutes later, the first cop showed up, and he did us one better by dragging the stove all the way out into the front yard. Fire!Then the cavalry came. I swear, those cops and firefighters must have been dying to get out of the inane after-Thankgiving-dinner conversation, because I think no less than 12(!) emergency vehicles showed up. They even set up floodlights, which was funny because they were set up so far down the street that they did no one any good. I "took some shots":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20031127_thanksgiving, but they didn't come out all that well.

When things calmed down, and the firefighters had set up some big fans running on a generator in the front door to suck the smoke out, it was generally agreed that the neighbor would be Not Good In A Crisis.