_"That's one heckuva package," says site founder Matt Comroe_ h3. For Immediate Release

*Pittsburgh, PA -- December 11, 2003* -- "Feralboy.com":http://feralboy.com, announced today that it has been acquired in a takeover bid from Microsoft valued at nearly a billion dollars in old newspapers and pets.com stock.

Feralboy.com founder, CEO, CTO, CFO, EVP, and all-around swell guy Matt Comroe expressed great satisfaction with the terms of the buyout when reached in his local office's restroom.

"Oh, no... you guys again? Every time I just want to just blast out a dook, you are in here asking me inane questions about things that haven't happened. Don't you have a life? Don't you have family or a girlfriend or something? "Why me? Why me?('Taxi Driver' on IMDB)":http://imdb.com/title/tt0075314/".

William H. Gates III, founder and chairman of Microsoft corporation, was equally enthusiastic. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Sure, he uses some Microsoft technologies on his site... everyone does. That's the whole point." At this point Mr. Gates trailed off into a series of Gollum-like cackles and mutterings.

Other large web presences have tried in the past to acquire Feralboy.com, including various animal pornography sites, a tea cozy reseller, and Sun Microsystems.

There was no indication at press time as to what changes the Microsoft acquisition was going to bring to Feralboy.com. There probably won't be any more articles about the Linux operating system, since it's such a piece of garbage.

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