Starbucks dumbfucks

in

Stopped at a PA Turnpike rest stop on the way out to my stepmom's 60th party this weekend, and my Travelling Companion and I went to get some hot beverages at "Starbucks(The Onion | Starbucks To Begin Sinister 'Phase Two' Of Operation)":http://www.theonion.com/onion3709/starbucks_phase_two.html. Cashier: Ok, that's $8.09. Travelling Companion: [hands cashier a $20] Cashier: [Starts counting out change] TC(Travelling Companion): Wait, I've got a dime. Cashier: [Looking at TC(Travelling Companion) like she had said "Wait, I've got a dead fetus."] Oh, I don't like to do that.

I'm thinking to myself, "Do what? Think?" It wasn't like TC(Travelling Companion) had made some sort of crazy math problem up ("Now, let me give you the cosine of my change MOD 25."), so I was _this_ close to just reaching into the register and doing his thinking for him. ("I give you _this_. And you give me _this_ and _this_. Jackass.")

Then again, maybe he thought I was trying to pull some sort of "math fast one":http://sounds.lambtron.com/season5/tenorman/notrade.wav on him.

No, no, no!!!!

in

"ESPN - Jagr: Rangers trade 'can happen any minute'(Jagr: Rangers trade 'can happen any minute')":http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2004/hockey/nhl/01/23/bc.hkn.jagrtrade.ap/index.html Is he suddenly going to not "suck(A -4 on the season? C'mon!!!)":http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/hockey/nhl/players/35/ anymore? I doubt it. Certainly it's an "expected move":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000023/, but that doesn't mean I need to be happy about it.

*Update:* Gah. "It happened(Report: Caps agree to send Jagr to Rangers)":http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/news/story?id=1716156.

Al Franken's reaction to the SOTU

in

"Have a listen":http://feralboy.com/muzak/franken_sotu.mp3. I think he does a much better job than "Michael Moore":http://www.michaelmoore.com/ of getting his point across. I think sometimes MM is so shrill and annoying that he winds up doing himself a disservice. Rumor has it that Franken is talking about doing a "political run":http://washingtontimes.com/upi-breaking/20031109-092405-5383r.htm in his home state of Minnesota. That would be great, IMHO. And hey, if he wanted to run for "president too":http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0385334540/, that's fine by me.

Curse-ive

in

I had to write a couple of late thank-you notes last night for some holiday bling from the grandparents and grandparents-in-law. I realized that I haven't written more than my signature or a few scribbles on a notepad with an actual pen in years, and I remembered why. First of all, I have the penmanship of a doctor with Parkinson's disease. Second, it's _hard_! I still have a dent in the pad of my middle finger from having my thumbnail digging into it while holding the pen! Typing is where it's at, my friends... "hand/wrist problems":http://www.jwz.org/gruntle/wrists.html be damned.

It's all in the hips!

in

I took a stab at snowboarding yesterday. I figured after some experience with "video games":http://www.easportsbig.com/games/ssx3/home.jsp, it would be a piece of cake. We went to "7 Springs":http://www.7springs.com/, because "Erin":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20031116_abs_comp/DSC00370.JPG had some sort of ski club thing that could get me lift tickets and rental for less than they would normally be. It was a little cold and windy, but I was more or less dressed alright to not be cold, although I could have used some sturdier pants than just the nylon shell over long underwear that I went with.

"Erin":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20031116_abs_comp/DSC00370.JPG and I skipped the free lesson and went with some personal instruction from my friend who's been boarding for 9 years. I won't bore you with all the details, but by the end of the day I think I had turning and stopping pretty well down. The only reason I didn't try and hit a "real" trail and not just the bunny slope, was that it started to get icy at higher elevations, and there was a truly frightening number of people out there... I had visions of falling and then immediately becoming a pile of snowy meat with ski and snowboard tracks all over my frozen carcass.

I'll be taking a trip out to Colorado before long, and at places like "Vail":http://vail.snow.com/ or "Breckenridge":http://breckenridge.snow.com/ I should see wider trails, better conditions, and waaaay less people. Can't wait.

Cold much?

in

Went out to go to work this morning and both of my car doors were frozen. Solid. After yanking on the handle a few times, I decided to listen to the voice that said "Don't do it.... you'll break the handle...", and went in through the trunk. A bit undignified, perhaps, but it worked. Both doors were shut so tightly that I had to hold the handle open and bash my shoulder against the door from the inside, Serpico-style. Hate winter. Hate, hate, hate.

And you think *you* had a shitty day at work...

in

I'm at work.I ate my lunch maybe an hour before. "Psyllium husk":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000543/ is kicking in; doing its job. I hit the head. Normal "size":http://ratemypoo.com/, normal amount of TP. Flush. _Gurgle_ Uh-oh. Water rises. Oh, please, please, please no!

Almost on command, the water obeys... cresting at the lip of its porcelean cage, and then reluctantly lowers itself back down. Phew.

You know that still, small voice in the back of your head? The one that gently whispers things to you that you should probably listen to? The one that told me "Go find a plunger, Matt... trust me...."? Yeah, well... I didn't listen. The water goes back down to normal pre-flush levels, and I'm left with two choices: just sneak away and leave it so that when the next guy comes in to pee, he gets one hell of a suprise, or try to flush again. I'll take door #2, Monty!

Whoops.

No stopping it this time... no prayers will be answered.

As casually as possible, I step out into the hall and check the janitor's closet. No plunger. What the heck kind of crackerjack operation are we running here anyway?!? Alright... so how bad is it? I peek back in to the bathroom, and there's water _everywhere_. Sigh. I get the bucket and mop and get to work. The mop is an utter piece of shit, so I have to resort to paper towels. Let me tell you, I think I'd rather "muck through old code":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000767/ than be mopping and wringing toilet water. I got most of the water into a small bucket, and then thought that perhaps by just pouring the water into the toilet, but without adding the flush factor, I could control how much the level rose while trying to exert enough downward pressure to free the clog. That probably would have worked great, if the handle of the bucket hadn't broken right when I was trying to pour. There goes half my water! More mopping/squeezing ensues.

A trip to Home Depot to buy a $5 plunger, and then a bit more floor wiping, and I think the room is pretty much back to normal. Damn, that sucked!

Cowboy up!

in

Friday night my friends Jason and "Heidi":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040109_cowboy/02.jpg hosted a "cowboy party", which involved dressing up in all the cowboy gear you could muster, and walking into a room with "The Magnificent Seven":http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054047/ on the TV, and Johnny Cash on the stereo. Some people really pulled off the cowboy thing well, especially "David":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040109_cowboy/01.jpg (who made his own "hat":http://feralboy.textamerica.com/?r=295336 and belt buckle out of card stock and aluminum foil) and "Will":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040109_cowboy/25.jpg (whose family has a ranch in Texas, natch). I, on the other hand, looked like some sort of psychedelic 70s cowboy acid nightmare. I didn't have an actual cowboy shirt, so I went with this "paisley polyester thing":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040109_cowboy/19.jpg I had, which when combined with "my hot new":http://store.yahoo.com/freestyleshop/sistspbebu.html "spinner belt buckle":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040109_cowboy/18.jpg and "borrowed hat":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040109_cowboy/11.jpg made me look like a demented rodeo clown. However, I did do well in the spitting competition and was able to get a cherry pit into a spitoon from about 10 feet away. Several times, in fact.

The "hot":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040109_cowboy/04.jpg "photoshop":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040109_cowboy/06.jpg "jobs":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040109_cowboy/08.jpg "in":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040109_cowboy/09.jpg "the gallery":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20040109_cowboy were all Jason's... very nice work!

Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes

in

I had a few friends over the other night for a "beers 'n' queers" party, which involves a case of assorted "Dogfish":http://www.dogfish.com/ and an episode of "Queer Eye":http://www.bravotv.com/Queer_Eye_for_the_Straight_Guy/. After the show was done, "Lauren":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20030927_sushi/P1010006.jpg invited me to see her friend's band play in the Strip this weekend. Wanting to know a bit more, we all crowded around the computer and checked out "the band's site":http://www.geocities.com/solaramusic/. A perfectly fine site, but don't people know you can get "free hosting and cheap domains":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000588/ these days? Anyway, while poking through the site we found this hilarious "poetry section":http://www.geocities.com/solaramusic/poetry.html. I really hate to make fun, since it's serious art and these are people pouring their hearts out, but I couldn't resist using their "entry form":http://www.geocities.com/solaramusic/submitjournal.html and submitting my own. My first poem was really bad... talking about putting my poop in a box and things like that... very Beat/experimental. The 2nd one was equally bad and overwrought, total goof. Imagine my surprise when I looked today and saw my 2nd poem had been taken seriously and posted! If you can't find it on that page, I'll give you a little hint. I used the fake name "Phil Illium" and the poem was called "Husk":http://www.geocities.com/solaramusic/poetry/husk-philillium.html. Get it? "Phil Illium - Husk":http://www.geocities.com/solaramusic/poetry/husk-philillium.html? "Psyllium husk":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000543/? It's a great poem.... "for me to poop on":http://www.d-rock.net/poop/poop.php?url=feralboy.com/log/! Anyway, my apologizes to Lauren's friends, but you've been somewhat "punk'd":http://www.mtv.com/onair/punkd/.

iPod Mini = teh sux0rs

in

"Matt":http://a.wholelottanothing.org/'s "got it right":http://a.wholelottanothing.org/archives.blah/007640; "this":http://www.apple.com/ipodmini/ is a horrible idea. Why the fuck would I pay $250 for an iPod that holds "1000 songs":http://files.mobiletracker.net/macmerc/macworld04/ipodmini.jpg, when I can get one that holds almost 5000 songs for $50 more? Oh, because it comes in some pretty colors? Bollocks.

Owowow.

in

So, in a bit of a drunken state this past weekend, I managed to lose one of my "eyelets":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000096/ that I wore in my earlobes. Went to a local piercing shop on my way home from work (where I took a friend to "get pierced(Lauren in the chair)":http://feralboy.textamerica.com/?r=30062 a few months back), and took a look at what jewelry they had. I have lost a bunch of O-ring backs over the years, because the shaft of the eyelet is fairly long, so it catches on my tshirt when I pull it off over my head. I was hoping to pick up something similar to what I had; maybe just a touch shorter. They didn't have anything matched well in my size. However, they did have a fine set a size bigger... machined eyelets instead of just bent; and a nice little groove to help hold the O-ring on. Seeing as how my lobes have been at their current size for at least 6 years, the piercer and I thought that maybe we could just "roll" them in. But, without doing any stretching over the years, or even wearing heaver pieces in my ears, they didn't want to cooperate. This meant "stretching":http://www.body-jewelry-fun.com/info/stretching-body-piercing.html with an "insertion taper":http://www.tribalectic.com/StretchingPics.asp to get the new eyelets in. I kinda forgot just how much "fun" stretching existing holes is; I think it's probably more intense than the actual piercing itself. At least, that was certainly the case with my "nipples(Bad kitty!)":http://feralboy.textamerica.com/?r=70467.

So, they're in now, and throbbing just a tiny bit. I certainly like the shorter barrel, but I don't know if I like the larger diameter. I think maybe the reason it looks more drastic is that you can see through the piece more easily now on account of the shorter length, which is slightly shocking when you look in the mirror. I'll leave it for a few days and see... but there's nothing that says I have to stay at 0ga; I can always back it down to 2ga, where I've been for a long, long time.

Shortsighted

in

There's almost nothing I love more than slogging through other people's code. Usually it's actually not that bad, but every once in awhile I'll find an utter gem, like this morning's nugget. You don't even need to be a programmer to understand this one.

loginCookie.Expires = New DateTime(2003, 12, 31, 23, 59, 59)

That basically says to set a "cookie":http://www.cookiecentral.com/faq/ on your browser that expires at 11:59 at night on Jan 1, 2003. The problem with this is that it's now beyond that, so every time this code fires, it places an already expired cookie on your browser, which does you no good.

This certainly isn't on the order of the "Y2K":http://www.y2k.gov/ bug (which was not as much laziness as it was lack of storage space to hold a 4-digit year), but it's still fairly annoying when you consider that swapping out the above line for

loginCookie.Expires = DateTime.Now.AddMonths(1)

not only makes the code easier to understand, but also won't ever break, since it just adds a month to whatever the current date is.

Happy New Year

in

It's 2004 and I have a rotten cold. I don't think it's the flu, but it ain't fun. My sister was supposed to come in yesterday for a new year's party, but she was having a sore throat, same as I was. So, I made a brief appearance at my friends' party, and then came home a little after midnight, took some NyQuil, and then I zzzzzzzzzzzz.... Today the breakdown of the co-op continued. Friends of "Brian":http://ankle-biter.net/log/ were buying the plywood sheeting and struts to reassemble into their own climbing wall at home, so we helped load up a few pickup trucks with that stuff. All that's really left is to figure out how to dispose of the nasty cummy mattresses, but we weren't doing that today.

On the way out, we were talking to the guy who runs an antique record cover art store on the 3rd floor of the same building. He's a huge car nut, and he showed us his prize car... a recent-model Volvo with a Mustang Cobra V8 engine crammed in instead; quite a nice bit of mechanical trickery.