I was watching an episode of "Wildboyz":http://www.mtv.com/onair/wildboyz/ the other day, and there was a skit where the guys went into a screened-in box, and let loose a beehive. They both got stung multiple times until they couldn't take it anymore, and then dove into a nearby stream to get away. It reminded me of two "hah-hah-funny-now-that-I-think-back" incidents that I had growing up. My "sister":http://commiescorner.blogspot.com/ and I would play outside a lot. We were on a nice chunk of land, with big rocks and trees and all sorts of other fun things; a veritable treasure trove of places to play for kids our age. We were out playing in the street, climbing up the roadway cut and goofing around. I was standing on a battered old piece of plywood laying on the ground, when I started to feel little hot jabs everywhere. Looking down I saw a swarm of insects around me, and I took off down the street yelling and screaming like Dick Cheney himself was after me. Burst into the house, tore up the stairs into the kitchen, where luckily both my mom and dad were there to assist. I very clearly remember standing in the middle of the kitchen lineoleum in my Underoos, with my parents and me holding ice cubes on every part of my body that we could all reach. I don't remember if it was yellowjackets or hornets, but I was stung about 13 times. I've given stinging insects a wide berth since then, and probably have only gotten stung once or twice more since then. I guess I save all my painful outdoor encounters "for cacti":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/001571/ now.

The other time was less painful and more funny. I was out playing in the dirt, as I was often wont to do. It got to be about dinner time, so I went inside to the 2nd floor bathroom, which was right next to my bedroom, to pee and wash up. As I stood there with my pants down I saw an ant crawling on my junk. I guess I had been playing near an ant nest, and a few had crawled up my pants leg. I was already mid-urination, and I couldn't quite stop it, so I was sort of trying to pause the flow, let the ant crawl down right to the tip, then start it back up again to blast him off the end. Of course I was wiggling all over the place as anyone with an ant on their penis would do, so all I really wound up doing was peeing on the toilet and the floor while doing the "truffle shuffle":http://imdb.com/title/tt0089218/. Good times.