I saw a story this morning about "a lawsuit being filed":http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/janetsuit1.html against "Janet Jackson":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000816/, Justin Timberlake, CBS, MTV and Viacom by a 47-year old bank employee because viewers were caused to "suffer outrage, anger, embarrassment and serious injury." A quick Google search turned up a page about the Plantiff's "attorney":http://www.rfdlaw.com/WayneRitchie.html, and I couldn't resist sending him an email.

bq.. Dear Mr. Ritchie,

You are kidding, right? You absolutely have to be kidding me, right? You can't honestly expect that your frivolous suit filed against JJ, Viacom, etc. ("http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/janetsuit1.html":http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/janetsuit1.html) is going to go anywhere, can you?

You, sir, are what's wrong with this country. Some bank employee who hates her life so much that she thinks making a quick buck she didn't earn is going to make it all better comes to you, and all you can see are dollar signs. Have you always been morally bankrupt, or did law school suck any last semblance of humanity and/or common decency right out of you?

I'm sure the only thing in an email that would get a response would be something along the lines of "I done hurted myself on a sidewalk and I likes to sue so's I kin watch Jerry Springer all day long", but I wanted to tell you that I truly hope there's a special room in hell for the likes of you, Jack Thompson ("http://www.loonyboi.com/blog/archives/000328.php":http://www.loonyboi.com/blog/archives/000328.php), and that woman who claimed a Wal-Mart DVD player ran her over (I'll bet you wished you could have gotten in on that action, eh Wayne?). Maybe you'll be serenaded by Yoko Ono until your ears fall off.

If there's any justice in this world, not only will your suit get laughed out, but you'll be required to pay the legal fees for the defendant, as well.

Yours very sincerely,

Matthew Comroe

P.S. Tort reform is going to come sooner rather than later, and you better brush up on your other skills for when that day comes. You can probably get a head start by standing in front of a mirror and saying "Would you like fries with that?", slowly and clearly.

p. His email address is war@rfdlaw.com if you care to drop him a little love note. After all, Valentine's Day is right around the corner.