moving forward with the interview process for a certain company (hint: they sound like a former presidential candidate, but they're not). last night i did another online questionnaire. this one was a personality profile. they are fairly stupid. they just keep asking you the same true/false questions over and over again, sometimes in a slightly different way, hoping that you'll screw up and put different answers for the same question. anyway, i culled some of my favorite questions and broke them down by category: the "how stuck on yourself are you?" category Others seem to find me attractive. No one ever got ahead by being modest. I am very good at almost everything I do. Other people recognize my talent, although they may not always say so. I often fantasize about being famous.

the "how suicidal are you?" category I am a moody person. Nothing seems to matter to me anymore. I can't do anything well. I'm always tired. I feel like life is just passing me by. I often wonder how I got to be the way I am. The future seems hopeless to me. I frequently have headaches. My life often seems to have no meaning. When I was young, there were times when I felt like leaving home. Sometimes I feel like a failure. Sometimes my problems seem too much for me. Sometimes I feel like I'm falling apart. I sometimes feel irritated without any good reason.

the "how much of an asshole are you at work? category It doesn't bother me to criticize or contradict the persons who are above me at work. People often disappoint me. In a group, I don't mind expressing unpopular opinions. I could do a better job if I weren't interrupted so often.

the "how militia-style paranoid about government/authority are you?" category If I wanted to, I could disguise myself as someone else. I get nervous if I think someone is watching me. The average citizen has no idea what our politicians are up to. If you want justice in this world, then you must be ready to fight for it. Some laws were just made to be broken.

the "how insane are you?" category People can often sense my power. If I were in charge, I could get this country moving again. I have some powerful enemies. Because of my unusual gifts, few people are close to me. Sometimes I feel a kind of power around me. In time people will recognize my importance. I know who my enemies are. Sometimes I know what people are going to say before they say it. People with my special talents don't need many friends.

the "how much of a party animal are you?" category In my view a person who doesn't drink can't be trusted.

to quote lecter: "oh, agent starling... you think you can disect me with this blunt little tool?"