Wake Up!

in

For "my birthday":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000844/ my mom got me a "CD alarm clock":http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0000UL34C/, which I sorely needed. The alarm clock I had was probably at least 15 years old, and would make a nice loud pop when the radio alarm would turn out that basically sounded like a small gun going off in the room... not the most peaceful way to wake up. So, all eager to try out the CD function, I put in "one of my favorite":http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0000036X3/ "Yo La Tengo":http://www.yolatengo.com/ discs last night. Problem is, you can't pick which track it starts with; it just goes from the beginning. I have to say that waking up to this song is probably not not the most motivational way to get out of bed.

Oh no... Three Oh!

in

Last weekend I turned 30. Not a big deal; not like I have a big hangup about my age. In fact, I had a much worse time when I turned 27 1/2, for some reason being halfway between 25 and 30 seemed like the end of the world for me. My only real issue with being older is that I didn't start climbing sooner. I know it's not too late; all I need to do is hear Jerry Moffatt in "Black Lung(Black Lung)":http://trulycrap.com/movies/blacklungbig2.mov talking about how you can be stronger in your 30s and 40s than ever as long as you climb smart.

Anyway, on to my birthday weekend! I thought it would be nice to have a little vacation, so I went out to Colorado to visit "Tina":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040131_judys_60th/P1010002.jpg.

First thing was I had to actually get to the airport. Instead of going through downtown during rush hour traffic, my co-worker suggested I sort of head north and then south-west; avoiding traffic. Ha ha ha. Big mistake. Instead of being stuck in highway traffic, I was stuck in single-lane back roads traffic. My flight was leaving at 5:45, and what should have probably been about a 1/2 hour trip turned out to be more like an hour and a half. I had visions of missing my flight and either sleeping at the airport waiting for the next flight, or bagging the whole trip. Anyway, I get to the ticket counter at about 5:30, and the automatic checkin kiosk doesn't want to work. Put in one credit card (for identification only) and it doesn't know who I am. Put in a second card (for identification only) and that one doesn't work either. Luckily there's the one USAir guy helping people with auto checkin, and he prints out my boarding pass right away (without checking my ID), and tells me there's no way I'll make it through security in time.

I take off in a dead run, movie-style. Make it through security without a hitch, which was funny considering I had about 20 gizmos in my messenger bag; Tina's "iPod":http://www.apple.com/ipod/, my "digital camera":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000192/, and enough cords and charging cables to make it look like I was going to blow up not just a plane, but the whole damn airport. Make it on to the train, and more movie-style running through the terminal. Finally get to my gate, and everyone is still standing in line. Apparently boarding was happening late, which would have been a nice thing to be told by the guy who printed out my boarding pass.

After the flight and a late dinner at "California Pizza Kitchen":http://www.cpk.com/, it was sleeeeepytime.

Saturday morning after getting some "fantastic":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040207_my_30th/P1010012.jpg "presents":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040207_my_30th/P1010013.jpg, we headed off to downtown Boulder to have some breakfast as "Le Peep":http://www.lepeep.com/ (which I haven't been to since I moved from NJ) and check everything out. Boulder is a super-cool town, "wacky cults":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040207_my_30th/P1010023.jpg aside. We walked around, saw a cool bike shop that had "tools tied up":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040207_my_30th/P1010026.jpg outside where anyone could just walk up and use them, day or night. Biking is huge in/around Boulder. There's bike lanes everywhere (although jackasses still use the sidewalk to ride around), and you can even ride your bike on the interstate! Yep, instead of signs saying that biking/hitchiking/walking is prohibited, they instead say "bikes keep far right". I still don't think I'd want to do that; helmet or no, you get pegged at 70 mph and you're D-E-A-D.

Saturday afternoon we went to the "massive REI":http://feralboy.textamerica.com/?r=375511 in Denver to exchange the snowboard pants I had gotten for my birthday, and then we stopped at the "Denver Chophouse":http://www.chophouse.com/ for dinner. I'm not really a huge red meat fan, but Tina and I both had the buffalo filets with gorgonzola cheese... Best. Meal. Ever.

Then we headed off to Breckenridge for the night. The weather Sunday morning was projected to be cold/windy/crappy, so we didn't bother to bring any snowboard gear. It was more just to have a little getaway and check out Breckenridge. Our room was really nice, with a "great":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040207_my_30th/P1010028.jpg "view":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040207_my_30th/P1010030.jpg, but I was so tired that I passed out on the couch watching Star Wars.

Sunday a.m. we walked around downtown Brek and looked at the remnants of the "snow sculpture competition":http://torus.math.uiuc.edu/jms/Snow/ from a week before. Lots of "neat":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040207_my_30th/P1010039.jpg "stuff":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040207_my_30th/P1010041.jpg.

On the way back to Boulder we stopped at the "Pearl Izumi":http://www.pearlizumi.com/ outlet, and I'm proud to say that I didn't let myself buy anything.

Back to Boulder, and a night of Limit Hold 'em with Tina's roomies. Didn't do as good as my game with JR last week; lost about $15.

Monday was a pretty quiet day. Quick lunch of "sushi":http://www.japonsushi.com/ in Boulder, topped off with a trip to "Cold Stone Creamery":http://www.coldstonecreamery.com/, and then off to the airport for my uneventful flight home. Certainly one of the best birthday weekend I've ever had.

Oh, and the best "picture(Photoalbum of my 30th birthday weekend)":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20040207_my_30th of the weekend? "Right here":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20040207_my_30th/P1010048.jpg.

Starbucks dumbfucks

in

Stopped at a PA Turnpike rest stop on the way out to my stepmom's 60th party this weekend, and my Travelling Companion and I went to get some hot beverages at "Starbucks(The Onion | Starbucks To Begin Sinister 'Phase Two' Of Operation)":http://www.theonion.com/onion3709/starbucks_phase_two.html. Cashier: Ok, that's $8.09. Travelling Companion: [hands cashier a $20] Cashier: [Starts counting out change] TC(Travelling Companion): Wait, I've got a dime. Cashier: [Looking at TC(Travelling Companion) like she had said "Wait, I've got a dead fetus."] Oh, I don't like to do that.

I'm thinking to myself, "Do what? Think?" It wasn't like TC(Travelling Companion) had made some sort of crazy math problem up ("Now, let me give you the cosine of my change MOD 25."), so I was _this_ close to just reaching into the register and doing his thinking for him. ("I give you _this_. And you give me _this_ and _this_. Jackass.")

Then again, maybe he thought I was trying to pull some sort of "math fast one":http://sounds.lambtron.com/season5/tenorman/notrade.wav on him.

Curse-ive

in

I had to write a couple of late thank-you notes last night for some holiday bling from the grandparents and grandparents-in-law. I realized that I haven't written more than my signature or a few scribbles on a notepad with an actual pen in years, and I remembered why. First of all, I have the penmanship of a doctor with Parkinson's disease. Second, it's _hard_! I still have a dent in the pad of my middle finger from having my thumbnail digging into it while holding the pen! Typing is where it's at, my friends... "hand/wrist problems":http://www.jwz.org/gruntle/wrists.html be damned.

It's all in the hips!

in

I took a stab at snowboarding yesterday. I figured after some experience with "video games":http://www.easportsbig.com/games/ssx3/home.jsp, it would be a piece of cake. We went to "7 Springs":http://www.7springs.com/, because "Erin":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20031116_abs_comp/DSC00370.JPG had some sort of ski club thing that could get me lift tickets and rental for less than they would normally be. It was a little cold and windy, but I was more or less dressed alright to not be cold, although I could have used some sturdier pants than just the nylon shell over long underwear that I went with.

"Erin":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20031116_abs_comp/DSC00370.JPG and I skipped the free lesson and went with some personal instruction from my friend who's been boarding for 9 years. I won't bore you with all the details, but by the end of the day I think I had turning and stopping pretty well down. The only reason I didn't try and hit a "real" trail and not just the bunny slope, was that it started to get icy at higher elevations, and there was a truly frightening number of people out there... I had visions of falling and then immediately becoming a pile of snowy meat with ski and snowboard tracks all over my frozen carcass.

I'll be taking a trip out to Colorado before long, and at places like "Vail":http://vail.snow.com/ or "Breckenridge":http://breckenridge.snow.com/ I should see wider trails, better conditions, and waaaay less people. Can't wait.

Cold much?

in

Went out to go to work this morning and both of my car doors were frozen. Solid. After yanking on the handle a few times, I decided to listen to the voice that said "Don't do it.... you'll break the handle...", and went in through the trunk. A bit undignified, perhaps, but it worked. Both doors were shut so tightly that I had to hold the handle open and bash my shoulder against the door from the inside, Serpico-style. Hate winter. Hate, hate, hate.

Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes

in

I had a few friends over the other night for a "beers 'n' queers" party, which involves a case of assorted "Dogfish":http://www.dogfish.com/ and an episode of "Queer Eye":http://www.bravotv.com/Queer_Eye_for_the_Straight_Guy/. After the show was done, "Lauren":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20030927_sushi/P1010006.jpg invited me to see her friend's band play in the Strip this weekend. Wanting to know a bit more, we all crowded around the computer and checked out "the band's site":http://www.geocities.com/solaramusic/. A perfectly fine site, but don't people know you can get "free hosting and cheap domains":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000588/ these days? Anyway, while poking through the site we found this hilarious "poetry section":http://www.geocities.com/solaramusic/poetry.html. I really hate to make fun, since it's serious art and these are people pouring their hearts out, but I couldn't resist using their "entry form":http://www.geocities.com/solaramusic/submitjournal.html and submitting my own. My first poem was really bad... talking about putting my poop in a box and things like that... very Beat/experimental. The 2nd one was equally bad and overwrought, total goof. Imagine my surprise when I looked today and saw my 2nd poem had been taken seriously and posted! If you can't find it on that page, I'll give you a little hint. I used the fake name "Phil Illium" and the poem was called "Husk":http://www.geocities.com/solaramusic/poetry/husk-philillium.html. Get it? "Phil Illium - Husk":http://www.geocities.com/solaramusic/poetry/husk-philillium.html? "Psyllium husk":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000543/? It's a great poem.... "for me to poop on":http://www.d-rock.net/poop/poop.php?url=feralboy.com/log/! Anyway, my apologizes to Lauren's friends, but you've been somewhat "punk'd":http://www.mtv.com/onair/punkd/.

Owowow.

in

So, in a bit of a drunken state this past weekend, I managed to lose one of my "eyelets":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000096/ that I wore in my earlobes. Went to a local piercing shop on my way home from work (where I took a friend to "get pierced(Lauren in the chair)":http://feralboy.textamerica.com/?r=30062 a few months back), and took a look at what jewelry they had. I have lost a bunch of O-ring backs over the years, because the shaft of the eyelet is fairly long, so it catches on my tshirt when I pull it off over my head. I was hoping to pick up something similar to what I had; maybe just a touch shorter. They didn't have anything matched well in my size. However, they did have a fine set a size bigger... machined eyelets instead of just bent; and a nice little groove to help hold the O-ring on. Seeing as how my lobes have been at their current size for at least 6 years, the piercer and I thought that maybe we could just "roll" them in. But, without doing any stretching over the years, or even wearing heaver pieces in my ears, they didn't want to cooperate. This meant "stretching":http://www.body-jewelry-fun.com/info/stretching-body-piercing.html with an "insertion taper":http://www.tribalectic.com/StretchingPics.asp to get the new eyelets in. I kinda forgot just how much "fun" stretching existing holes is; I think it's probably more intense than the actual piercing itself. At least, that was certainly the case with my "nipples(Bad kitty!)":http://feralboy.textamerica.com/?r=70467.

So, they're in now, and throbbing just a tiny bit. I certainly like the shorter barrel, but I don't know if I like the larger diameter. I think maybe the reason it looks more drastic is that you can see through the piece more easily now on account of the shorter length, which is slightly shocking when you look in the mirror. I'll leave it for a few days and see... but there's nothing that says I have to stay at 0ga; I can always back it down to 2ga, where I've been for a long, long time.

Happy New Year

in

It's 2004 and I have a rotten cold. I don't think it's the flu, but it ain't fun. My sister was supposed to come in yesterday for a new year's party, but she was having a sore throat, same as I was. So, I made a brief appearance at my friends' party, and then came home a little after midnight, took some NyQuil, and then I zzzzzzzzzzzz.... Today the breakdown of the co-op continued. Friends of "Brian":http://ankle-biter.net/log/ were buying the plywood sheeting and struts to reassemble into their own climbing wall at home, so we helped load up a few pickup trucks with that stuff. All that's really left is to figure out how to dispose of the nasty cummy mattresses, but we weren't doing that today.

On the way out, we were talking to the guy who runs an antique record cover art store on the 3rd floor of the same building. He's a huge car nut, and he showed us his prize car... a recent-model Volvo with a Mustang Cobra V8 engine crammed in instead; quite a nice bit of mechanical trickery.

High roller

in

As part of the xmas festivities this weekend, Ryan's family and I went down to Atlantic City Friday night to try out luck. We went to "Harrah's":http://www.harrahs.com/, which wasn't all that impressive. We got dinner in the casino, and the food was pretty bad. Then time to hit the gaming floor. "Ryan's dad":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20031225_xmas/P1010010.jpg said that you could always tell the quality of a casino by how attractive the cocktail waitresses were, and these were pretty bad. One woman had a picture of her mommy baby on her tray's tip cup; very tacky! That combined with her sullen-bordering-on-hostile attitude meant no getting drinks from her! Ryan and I weren't really into the idea of gambling; we were just going to look for a bar and drink and people-watch. Found a bar, but it was loud, as there was a Beatles cover band playing, complete with Sgt. Pepper-era outfits, and even a left-handed bass player lead singer. They even talked with a British accent in between songs. Entertaining, but still too loud.

Came back to the floor, and found "Ryan's mom":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20031225_xmas/P1010002.jpg, who gave us each $20 to play slots next to her, with the understanding that if we hit, we'd have to give her half. Ha, ha.. very funny.. no problem. Plugged my $20 into a quarter slot machine, and starting playing 3 credits at a time. Up a little, down a little, up a little more, and then down to about my last $10. Then I get 7-DoubleThingy-7. $200. I couldn't even believe it. Cashed out right away (didn't get the cool sound of 800-plus quarters dropping into the bin... instead you get a paper chit printed out that you bring to the cashiers window), gave Ryan's mom her $100, and then more or less called it a night. I did put $10 into a dollar slot machine, and hit $15 on my first pull, but then whittled away the $25 in about 2 minutes.

The other thing I really noticed was how smokey it was in there. There was a "non-smoking" slots section, but it was very small. I wonder if they will ever have fully non-smoking casinos? Gambling and smoking seem to be strongly linked, but I would have said the same thing about Dunkin Donuts 10 years ago.

Holiday Fun

in

The holiday is in full swing here at work. "Pat":http://gregcioffi.com/hammerheads/images/galleries/images/otg2_5.jpg showed up this morning with a bunch of Santa hats, "donuts('Donuts! I got donuts! I got- hey, I know you!')":ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad/sounds/season7/films17.mp3, and various other fun things. So, pictures were taken and posted, which prompted me to tell you about some new photo galleries I've put up. "3 Foolish Men":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20031224_3wisemen The boys at the office, decked out in holiday gear and a buffalo stance.

"Gym Photos":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20031216_theclimbingwall Just a couple of pics of the new gym bouldering area. A game of grab-ass is played, and problems are sent.

"Apartment pics":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20031210_apartment After taking forever, I finally took some shots of my neat-o apartment, so you can see the kingdom over which my cats are lords and masters.

"The Parent Trip":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20010707_parents From about two years ago, when my folks came out for a visit. Decorations were done, and a wonderful time was had by all.

Oh, and speaking of pictures, the photo of "lil' Seb":http://www.ankle-biter.net/anklebiter/ "under the xmas tree":http://www.ankle-biter.net/withxmastree.jpg is probably the cutest damn thing I've ever seen.

Dance Dance Revolution

in

No, this post is not about "DDR(Dance Dance Revolution)":http://www.ddrfreak.com/, but instead about how I helped the SLF(Special Lady Friend) chaperone a dance at the school she teaches at on Friday. The school is a "faith-based charter school", which has students primarily from Garfield, Wilkinsburg, and the Hill District. In English, that means that there's about 30-odd inner-city kids whose parents didn't want to send them to their neighborhood's public school, since they are probably in a deplorable state. I learned some interesting things on Friday:

* I am really, REALLY white. * The fashion rage these days is velour track suits. Al Sharpton would be proud. According to my co-workers, this is not news at all, as white girls at the mall are thusly clad, but I tend to be ignorant of those sorts of things. * I am very behind on current slang. One example was "swole", which means annoyed or something. e.g. "I'm all swole at him." Another was in a complaint one of the girls made, "There are too many chaperones around, and we can't do the coochie pop!" Being a good nerd I immediately ran to a computer in the school to try and look up the dance called "the coochie pop". "UrbanDictionary":http://www.urbandictionary.com/ let me down tho... all I could find were "references to the female anatomy":http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=coochie-pop. Turns out that one of the TAs was able to clue me in (she's young and black, natch). Apparently it involves a girl doing a handstand, and the guy stands behind her holding her legs. At least I knew what "freakin":http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/northcounty/20020512-9999_1mi12dance.html (dropped the "g" in freaking... thank you, k) was, and believe me there was plenty of that. * It is a small school, and maybe my random sample was skewed by lack of data, but I would have to say that 80% of the girls were overweight; ranging from what you might call "thick" to downright fat. As most of the kids parents are lower-income, maybe this means that they eat more junk food, fast food, and the like. In any case, buy stock in insulin-providing compaines now, and retire rich.

ROTK

in

Went and saw "ROTK(Return of the King)":http://www.lordoftherings.net/film/trilogy/ last night. The movie was wonderful, of course, as all the "critics(ROTK reviews on RottenTomatoes)":http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/TheLordoftheRingsTheReturnoftheKing-1127213/ and "fans(ROTK thread on ShackNews)":http://www.shacknews.com/ja.zz?comments=29734 are saying. Saw three interesting things before the movie, however: * Went to "Panera":http://www.panerabread.com/ for soup and a sandwich before the movie. After I order my sandwich, the girl tells me they're out of rosemary & onion focaccia. No problem, I'll just take asiago cheese bread. Nope, sorry... don't have that either. Alright fine.. just the plain focaccia then. A blank look and a shrug from the girl. At this point I nearly leaned over the counter to start shaking her, "Well, what do you have then?" Sheesh... I know that working there isn't a career or anything, but grow a brain, huh?

* Also at Panera just as I was leaving a guy walked in with a group of his friends. He seemed a trifle confused, because he was wearing a "trucker hat(Making your own trucker hat @ Gawker)":http://www.gawker.com/archives/007250.php, but had it turned "sort of askew":http://www.mrquick.net/blogger/2003_03_23_blogarchive.htm#91268225, the way dumb white boys that "want to be badass(UrbanDictionary definition of 'whigger')":http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whigger will wear a baseball hat.

* While on line to get into the theatre, I had a bet going with the SLF that we would see between 0 and 10 people wearing some sort of LOTR outfit (she said between 10 and 20), be it a "whole outfit thing":http://www.all-movie-toys.com/item/LOTRRUARDASET, or just a trinket like "the Arwen jewel":http://www.all-movie-toys.com/item/LOTRNBPENDAW. Only actually saw one girl wearing "a leaf brooch":http://www.all-movie-toys.com/item/LOTRNBEB, but also saw a guy wearing a straightjacket. That's the way to meet girls, for sure. "Hey, ladies... I'm dependable and reliable... well-rounded and I call my mom every week." Um, no.

Phase Two

in

My cats have begun the second step in their multipart plan to make me spend more time with them. "Phase One":http://feralboy.com/log/archives/000715/ was waking me up at ungodly hours so I'd be forced to pay attention to them. Phase Two apparently involves _resetting the time_ on my alarm clock, thereby forcing me to get fired so I'll be home a lot more. They must really miss my telecommuting days.

The joys of pet ownership

in

The culpritI have very cute cats. No, really... everyone says they have cute cats but mine are affectionate, playful, sleek. Except for my one; Manson. He's developed this Extra Special Annoying habit over the last few months, which is to get my attention while I'm sleeping thusly: # Yowl at medium volume. # Rattle the doorknob of my walk-in closet which is 5 feet from my head. # Repeat ad nauseum.

I'm not quite sure how he figured it out, but if his aim is to get my attention, it's quite effective. Various responses on my part include:

* Rolling over and groaning. * Rolling over and yelling, which stops him for _just_ long enough for me to almost get back to sleep before he starts again. * Throwing the other pillow in his general direction. * Getting really desparate and going downstairs to find the damn spray bottle which I then douse him with. In my half-groggy state I usually spray the wrong cat anyway, as they all tend to gather around to watch the other one get a whuppin'. * (Most effective) Hanging my "messenger bag":http://timbuk2.com/ so that the padded strap is across the knob, and then leaning my guitar case across the knob/strap combo to thwart his rattling efforts.

He who hesitates....

in

Damn, damn, damn. I was busy enough at work yesterday that I put off calling the local theatre to get VIP seating for the "ROTK(Return Of The King)":http://www.lordoftherings.net/film/trilogy/ in a few weeks. I call today, and they're all sold out. I check on "Fandango":http://fandango.com/, and the general admission seats for the after-5 show are sold out too, and they were available yesterday!

I sux0r.

*Update*: I now officially sux0r less, because they had a movie time that wasn't "released" to Fandango or some such jive, but was on there today, so I've got my ticket for the 9 p.m. showing at the Waterfront. W00t!

Fire!

in

Very nice Thanksgiving this past weekend. Went to Philly on Wednesday right after work, met up with Ryan and did some drinkin', then made my way to my Dad's for dinner Thursday afternoon. Dinner was good, and uneventful right up until I was about to leave to head to my sister's to sleep over, as there was no more room at my Dad's. Anyway, his next-door neighbor comes charging in barefoot screaming about a fire in her kitchen. My dad grabbed a fire extinguisher, and I followed after him. As we're heading across the driveway, the neighbor was saying "You're not going to find him! I know you're going to look for him but you won't find him!" Of course, I had visions of either an undocumented worker chained in the attic to help up with chores, or maybe it was her invisible elephant, Sparky (my dad's neighbor is always a bit, shall we say, unhinged) Fire!Anyway, I fully expected to find a kitchen roaring in flames, or maybe when we opened the door it would come roaring out, _ala_ "Backdraft(Backdraft on IMDB)":http://imdb.com/title/tt0101393/. Instead we found the neighbor's son, shirtless, tugging at the door of the oven, with lots of smoke coming out. Apparently the door had stuck, either from the violent tugging or it had just locked or something. Anyway, I suggested we pull the stove out from the wall and unplug it, so that whatever was smoking wouldn't get any more heat (I never did find out what exactly was in the oven). A few minutes later, the first cop showed up, and he did us one better by dragging the stove all the way out into the front yard. Fire!Then the cavalry came. I swear, those cops and firefighters must have been dying to get out of the inane after-Thankgiving-dinner conversation, because I think no less than 12(!) emergency vehicles showed up. They even set up floodlights, which was funny because they were set up so far down the street that they did no one any good. I "took some shots":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/?folder=20031127_thanksgiving, but they didn't come out all that well.

When things calmed down, and the firefighters had set up some big fans running on a generator in the front door to suck the smoke out, it was generally agreed that the neighbor would be Not Good In A Crisis.