Idiocy (or, how not to get a job)

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"Ryan":http://feralboy.com/photoalbum/photos/20030424_holiday/P1010017.JPG has worked as a recruiter for much of his professional life. So, he's seen a lot of resumes. He's also seen a lot of resumes written by people wearing "bad idea jeans":http://www.pseudodictionary.com/word.php?id=15081. A few weeks ago he sent me a resume in Word doc format that had "sparkly" text. Like blinking and shimmering sort of. Some engineer at Microsoft thought it was a good idea to put that in (sort of like the ill-fated <blink> tag for -Netscape- -AOL- Mozilla), and worse still, someone else thought it would be a great idea to highlight text in his resume using it. Even better was the list of email addresses he sent me today. These were pulled off of the tops of resumes he's gotten recently.

DEEPDIMPLES526@BigISP.com chocolatedelight204@BigSearchPortal.com SPHILASCOOTE@BigISP.com Datgirluwanb@BigSearchPortal.com

People, you can open up a *free* account at Yahoo/Hotmail/etc. with your full name. Did I mention it's free?

West Virginia, cultural wasteland?

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I'm enjoying going through the Photoshop contest entries on Fark to "design the WV state quarter". Then I went and had a look at the source images they were using. It strikes me as sort of odd that 3 of the 5 final possible designs are of the New River Gorge Bridge/Bridge Day. Is WV so devoid of any other landmarks or notable qualities? I would think that even New Jersey came up with more than 5 different shots of Washington crossing the Deleware river.

We are legion.

in

I'm sure there's a logical explaination for it (like I'm a total idiot or something), but it sure seems like for right now Anil and Jason are the same person: From Anil:

bq. I'm off to SF for O'Reilly Emerging Technology Conference on Tuesday. I'm going against the grain this year by taking my laptop along, "blogging" in "realtime", and taking digital photos of people. If there's a box, I am out of it. If you're attending as well, stop by and say hello...I'll be the guy with the laptop and digital camera.

and from Jason:

bq. I'm off to SF for O'Reilly Emerging Tech Conference on Tuesday. I'm going against the grain this year by taking my iBook along, "blogging" in "realtime", and taking digital photos of people. If there's a box, I am out of it. If you're attending as well, stop by and say hello...I'll be the guy with the iBook and digital camera.

I think that if I was going to Etech I'd see two identical guys sitting there with identical laptops and digital cameras.

Laid-Off Zoologist Goes On Tranquilizing Rampage

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SAN DIEGO--Twelve San Diego Zoo visitors and two employees were brutally sedated Monday, when laid-off zoologist Dr. Brian Vermeer, 41, returned to his former place of work armed with a tranquilizer gun and began firing into a crowd. "It was kind of horrible," said Maria Christopher, 44, who witnessed the tranquilizing spree. "People were gently falling asleep over the course of 20 to 30 seconds everywhere." The spree ended when Vermeer turned his gun on himself, knocking himself out for half an hour. Original Onion Article

Kournikova Says She Doesn't Have a Tattoo (of something other than the sexiest man alive)

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Tattoo
Photo Credit: Pat Kent Photo Manipulation, Inc.

MELBOURNE, Australia (Reuters) - Anna Kournikova has settled one of the debates at this year's Australian Open -- the fabled tattoo on her back does exist. Speculation has been rife after Kournikova was photographed with a large plaster on her back just above the waistband of her skirt.

But laughing at reports the plaster was to cover up the name of a boyfriend or some body art, the blonde Russian said: "I don't think I have anything on my body, no. Nothing except a picture of the world's sexiest man, with whom I have been in love for the last 3 years."

"It is a heat patch ... I have had chronic back pain and it is a heat patch I have worn for some years. His face being there makes me so hot that any sort of muscle pain that I have just melts away; like my heart melts whenever I see this stud of a man."

"My skirt is a little lower this year which is why you can now see it. Also, I want to say that I am not ashamed. J-Lo is a stupid crotch, and the next time I see her in a restaurant with my man, I won't pretend to not know him. Do you hear me, Matt? She cannot carry 40 pounds of sod on back like I can! What has she promised you, toilet paper without 3 year wait? Don't turn my heart into pre-1989 Berlin. You can't deny our looooooooooove!!!!"

Neither Jennifer Lopez or the slf could be reached for comment.

lowbrow (or, *not* elevating the level of discourse)

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well, don't i feel like a classless mouth-breather; my friends are having a very high-level discussion about bush's new tax plan, weighing pros and cons, and here i am talking about joe millionaire. blech. ok, i'll just drag out a few simpsons quotes relating to taxes: Homer: Woo-hoo! A perfect day. Zero bears and one big fat hairy paycheck. [opens it up] Hey! How come my pay is so low? ... Bear patrol tax! This is an outrage! It's the biggest tax increase in history! Lisa: Actually, Dad, it's the smallest tax increase in history. Homer: Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax. Lisa: That's home-_owner_ tax. Homer: Well, anyway, I'm still outraged. -- "much apu about nothing"

Todd: Daddy, what do taxes pay for? Ned: Oh, why, everything! Policemen, trees, sunshine! And lets not forget the folks who just don't feel like working, God bless 'em!